The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

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Mo
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The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Mo » 09 Jul 2019, 05:59

This whole case is getting weirder and more bonkers as information keeps coming out. How did he make his money? Why did he get a job at Bear Stearns when he was just a private school teacher? Bill Barr's dad is involved in this whole sordid affair now? It's basically Season 2 of True Detective, but even odder. Just saying the actual facts out loud makes you sound like a QAnon adherent.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Andrew » 09 Jul 2019, 07:46

It's the part about how he made his money that really baffles me.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Jennifer » 09 Jul 2019, 08:27

Fuuuck. Years ago, long before the rise of Trump and the alt-right when I'd WTF-read conspiracy and racist forums, I remember rolling my eyes at a particularly ludicrous theory about the evil Jewish rich guy who owned a pedophile-party island whose frequent guests ranged from Prince Andrew to Bill Clinton and more. If even a fraction of these allegations are true, this'll give the bigots a fuck of a lot more ammunition to use on those prone to scapegoat conspiracizing.

This Twitter thread is interesting, but I've no idea if it's true or not:

"Myself, despite what they say about libertarians, I think we're actually allowed to pursue options beyond futility or sucking the dicks of the powerful." -- Eric the .5b

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Jennifer » 09 Jul 2019, 08:31

The full twitter thread from above:


So, apologies in advance, but I want to do a quick little THREAD to explain my theory of what the Epstein story really is. I promise this isn't some crazy Pizzagate conspiracy about space lizards, just a neat little explanation that IMO perfectly fits the known facts (0/13):

(1/13) Let's take as our starting points two givens. (A.) You are a committed, unrepentant pedophile (B.) Because of your old job in private banking, you are very connected to lots of very, very wealthy people We'll also assume a goal: (Z.) You want to become very rich

(2/13) The obvious route is, well, obvious: you could just be a pimp, offering underage prostitute services to very rich people. This has two problems: you're very disposable (see: DC madam), and it's also not super lucrative. You can't charge millions of dollars up front.

(3/13) The second level though follows instantly: You don't need to charge up front, just get them to have underage sex, and then blackmail them afterwards for hush money. Better ROI, but you're still a liability, and producing and receiving big bribe money raises big questions.

(4/13) So, what to do? Well, the second idea has some merits. First, you need to recruit people in. Have lots of massive parties at your spacious home (check), invite top academics, artists, politicians to encourage people to come (check), and supply lots of young women (check)

(5/13) You don't even have to do anything, and most people invited might even be totally unaware of the real purpose of the parties! But, sooner or later, some billionaire will get handsy, she'll escort him to a room with a hidden camera, things happen. Morning after, you strike.

(6/13) You inform him she was really 15, but you offer him a nice, neat way to buy your silence: a large allocation to your hedge fund, which charges 2/20 (check). To ensure nobody else asks questions, you also take the extraordinary step of demanding power of attorney (check)

(7/13) The fund is offshore in a tax haven (check) and nobody will see the client list (check). Of course, you don't really know anything about investing, instead making up some nonsense about currency trading (check), and nobody on Wall Street has ever traded with you (check)

(8/13) The fund itself doesn't need investment personnel (check), only some back office people to process the wires (check). You don't want to money from non-pedophiles, or they'll notice you've just put it in a S&P 500 fund, so you reject all incoming inquiries (check)

(9/13) A $20 million wire from Billionaire X to you with no obvious reason will raise many questions, and the IRS will certainly want to know what you did to warrant it. A $5 million quarterly fee for managing $1 billion in assets? Nobody bats an eye.

(10/13) Because of this structure, you're extraordinarily secretive about client lists (check) because they aren't clients, they're pedophiles paying you bribes, and they also are very secretive, which is why no letters or return streams ever leak (check)

(11/13) Occasionally you may also try this trick on other people: important political figures, mayors, prosecutors, etc. They don't invest in the fund, but it's nice to have them in your pocket. Others (academics, artists, etc.) can just be bought with money as a PR smokescreen.

(12/13) And, of course, the scam can be kept going as long as people are willing to pay, which is forever. If you're ever caught, just lean on some of your other friends in government to lean on the prosecutor to get you a sweetheart deal. There's almost zero risk.

(13/13) And the last piece of the puzzle is the evidence. You'd want it somewhere remote, but accessible: a place the US can't touch but you have an excuse to visit all the time to update. Remember that offshore fund? I bet there's a *very* interesting safe deposit box there.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Andrew » 09 Jul 2019, 10:15

To put on my gold-lined tinfoil conspiracy cap (only 12 payments of $19.95!):

When it appeared to mainly implicate Bill Clinton and others who weren't politically useful as a cudgel for the 24-hour news cycle, the whole Epstein thing was part of the Vast Right-wing Conspiracy. Now that the "colluding with Russia to hack the election" angle has failed, suddenly Epstein is the cause du jour to hammer on Trump. Remarkable timing.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dhex » 09 Jul 2019, 10:45

everyone is going to use this to their ends, but it is absolutely a wtf from top to bottom. it's like p2 but with no bishops or vatican bankers (these were young girls after all).
"i ran over the cat and didnt stop just carried on with tears in my eyes joose driving my way to work." - God

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Mo » 09 Jul 2019, 11:27

Andrew wrote:
09 Jul 2019, 10:15
To put on my gold-lined tinfoil conspiracy cap (only 12 payments of $19.95!):

When it appeared to mainly implicate Bill Clinton and others who weren't politically useful as a cudgel for the 24-hour news cycle, the whole Epstein thing was part of the Vast Right-wing Conspiracy. Now that the "colluding with Russia to hack the election" angle has failed, suddenly Epstein is the cause du jour to hammer on Trump. Remarkable timing.
It implicated Clinton AND Trump, so neither side was interested in litigating it during 2016. It made a little noise during the Acosta confirmation. Now the blues seem perfectly happy to torch Clinton over this, so now one side has incentive to make noise.
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by JD » 09 Jul 2019, 12:39

Jennifer wrote:
09 Jul 2019, 08:31
The full twitter thread from above:
...
(1/13) Let's take as our starting points two givens. (A.) You are a committed, unrepentant pedophile (B.) Because of your old job in private banking, you are very connected to lots of very, very wealthy people We'll also assume a goal: (Z.) You want to become very rich
The main problem that I see with this Just So Story is that if you have a job in private banking, you probably already are very rich, or at least have a very reasonable and legal path to become so without the convoluted sex-trafficking/blackmail angle.
I sort of feel like a sucker about aspiring to be intellectually rigorous when I could just go on twitter and say capitalism causes space herpes and no one will challenge me on it. - Hugh Akston

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Mo » 09 Jul 2019, 14:45

You can become rich through private banking, but not that rich.

Also, now Barr unrecused himself. WTEF?
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by JD » 09 Jul 2019, 14:55

Mo wrote:
09 Jul 2019, 14:45
You can become rich through private banking, but not that rich.
Considering that we don't actually know how rich he is, that seems like further speculation.
I sort of feel like a sucker about aspiring to be intellectually rigorous when I could just go on twitter and say capitalism causes space herpes and no one will challenge me on it. - Hugh Akston

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Shem » 09 Jul 2019, 15:11

"VOTE SHEMOCRACY! You will only have to do it once!" -Loyalty Officer Aresen

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Mo » 09 Jul 2019, 15:58

Cy Vance is a shitbag, episode 712
his voice is so soothing, but why do conspiracy nuts always sound like Batman and Robin solving one of Riddler's puzzles out loud? - fod

no one ever yells worldstar when a pet gets fucked up - dhex

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dhex » 09 Jul 2019, 21:33

He is a fucking dumpster fire of injustices.
"i ran over the cat and didnt stop just carried on with tears in my eyes joose driving my way to work." - God

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Aresen » 10 Jul 2019, 00:36

Mo wrote:
09 Jul 2019, 15:58
Cy Vance is a shitbag, episode 712
I was about to remark that I thought he was dead, then I googled and found out he was reincarnated as his own spawn.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by thoreau » 10 Jul 2019, 03:12

Some theories on the source of his money:

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/amp/2019 ... rtune.html

I don't see why these theories have to be mutually exclusive, at least in broad strokes. Some fraud, some blackmail, some favors for and from people in high places. They all fit the profile of a guy who moves money around and has parties where people do some seriously illegal stuff.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dbcooper » 10 Jul 2019, 04:46

Jeffrey Epstein’s fortune is built on fraud, a former mentor says

Also saw something today about one of his trusts (Zorro Group) claiming the winning ticket in an Oklahoma powerball lottery.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dbcooper » 10 Jul 2019, 04:49

There's a billionaire pedo scandal in China at the moment too.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/09/busi ... eazen.html
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Aresen » 10 Jul 2019, 19:41

dbcooper wrote:
10 Jul 2019, 04:49
There's a billionaire pedo scandal in China at the moment too.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/07/09/busi ... eazen.html
Paywall. Saw enough to figure out the subject. Must have fallen out with the Red Emperor and his court.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by thoreau » 11 Jul 2019, 00:27

A few people I know are hoping/expecting that the Epstein case will bring down Steven Pinker. It appears that Epstein flew Pinker to an event or two. So far no evidence that Pinker was more than a speaker brought in because rich guys like pop intellectuals, but we'll have to wait to see if more comes out.
"They were basically like D&D min maxers, but instead of pissing off their DM, they destroyed the global economy. Also, instead of their DM making a level 7 paladin fight a beholder as punishment, he got a +3 sword of turning."
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by dhex » 11 Jul 2019, 10:33

"I hope these rape victims help discredit someone I disagree with!"
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by D.A. Ridgely » 11 Jul 2019, 10:38

dhex wrote:
11 Jul 2019, 10:33
"I hope these rape victims help discredit someone I disagree with!"
Well, it would be a terrible waste if they were merely gratuitous rape victims.

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by thoreau » 11 Jul 2019, 13:24

dhex wrote:"I hope these rape victims help discredit someone I disagree with!"
Basically.

Of course, it should go without saying that Pinker is bad, and anyone who likes his books needs to be exiled from polite society (at a minimum).

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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Shem » 11 Jul 2019, 13:36

Well you know, it's important to use every part of the rape victim. That's just ecology.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by lunchstealer » 11 Jul 2019, 13:39

Shem wrote:
11 Jul 2019, 13:36
Well you know, it's important to use every part of the rape victim. That's just ecology.
This is why indigenous peoples are superior to white Americans.
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Re: The Sheer WTFery of Epstein

Post by Number 6 » 11 Jul 2019, 13:53

thoreau wrote:
11 Jul 2019, 13:24
dhex wrote:"I hope these rape victims help discredit someone I disagree with!"
Basically.

Of course, it should go without saying that Pinker is bad, and anyone who likes his books needs to be exiled from polite society (at a minimum).

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What is the objection to Pinker? Is it his rejection of the blank slate, his non-hatred of enlightenment thinking, or just because someone on Quillette said something nice about him?
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